FLORIDA LANDLORD CALLED THE COPS OVER HIS ICE CREAM, THEN ALLEGEDLY GRABBED THE SHOTGUN HIMSELF

On October 28, Ocala police rolled out to a house on Southeast 8th Street for a verbal disturbance. The complaint, per Chief Mike Balken, was that somebody ate somebody else's ice cream, if you can believe that. Officers interviewed all three men, decided it was handled, and left. Balken's own summary of the scene was one very young officer trying to calm down three men in their 60s and 70s over dessert, which he called a ridiculous situation to happen anywhere, much less in Ocala. The two tenants, Charles Etheze, 69, and Michael Menkes, 78, went out for a walk. They came back around 5:15. Police say the homeowner they rented from, Mark Robinson, 69, was waiting inside with a shotgun and a bottle and a half of white wine in him. Robinson told detectives one man came at him with a knife and he fired in self defense. Investigators say the other man ran for the door and was shot in the back on the front lawn. Robinson walked outside with his hands up and told officers he shot both of them. He is charged with one count of second-degree murder, the count tied to the man in the yard, and police say more charges are possible. Balken called the house a dysfunctional living arrangement and Robinson an angry old man with alcohol problems. Officers had been to that address three times. And yes, investigators believe someone really did eat his ice cream.

Why you should give a shit: Cops cleared an ice cream complaint and were back in an hour for two bodies, which is exactly what "we defused it" is worth when the angriest guy in the house owns the deed, the freezer, and the shotgun.