BARN OWL STOWAWAY ON A BRITISH ARMY RACING YACHT

On August 19, seventy nautical miles off Great Yarmouth, the British Army's offshore racing yacht Fujitsu British Soldier picked up a crew member nobody vetted. A wild barn owl came in hot, whiffed a landing on a sailor's head, and then tumbled off the mast into the North Sea. Three times. She kept clawing her way back to the boat, which is either heroism or the worst flying ever recorded by a creature with wings. Barn owls do not migrate and have no waterproofing on their feathers, per Dan Goldsmith of Great Yarmouth's Marine and Wildlife Rescue, so a soaked owl over open water is a rock with a face. She eventually collapsed onto the deck, where the soldiers wrapped her in a towel, fed her and built her a bed for the night. The crew christened her Little Reg, then took a closer look, then upgraded it to Little Regina. Skipper Will Naylor told race officials he had an extra crew member and joked that "Someone is going to have to walk the plank." The Barn Owl Trust, Marine and Wildlife Rescue and Caister Independent Lifeboat handled the handoff while the boat carried on with its 1,805-nautical-mile lap of Britain and Ireland. Little Regina was dehydrated and underweight and expected to recover fully. The Army finished 18th on IRC in 12 days, 21 hours, 12 minutes and 33 seconds, owl not included.

Why you should give a shit: An owl with no waterproofing and no business over open water somehow picked the one boat in 1,805 miles carrying a towel and a lifeboat on speed dial, and she's breathing today because a crew racing the clock decided a soggy bird outranked their finish time.