FLORIDA MAN OFFERS 5 GRAND TO KILL HIS NEIGHBOR

David Butka, 69, of Clermont was a day away from walking out of the Lake County Jail. He landed there after a July 22 incident tied to what the affidavit calls an ongoing civil issue over his drone, when a witness told deputies he yelled at a neighbor and threw a rock at their vehicle. He pleaded no contest to aggravated assault. Court and release were set for September 17. Instead, deputies say he went shopping. On or about September 7 or 8, per the affidavit, he approached another inmate and solicited him to kill that neighbor, telling him he had roughly $1.3 million in the bank and would pay $5,000 up front. The two had never met before jail. He allegedly supplied the victim's first name, address, phone number, physical description, morning schedule and directions to the house, then handed over his credit card info, which the inmate's wife used to put $300 in the guy's commissary account. Impressive logistics from a man who priced a homicide at five grand. The inmate wrote it all down and walked the notes to a jail supervisor on September 16, one day before Butka was due to go home. He got booked on solicitation to commit first degree murder. The sheriff's office says there's no clear motive beyond anger and revenge, and points out the inmate he picked wasn't in for anything violent. Bond on the new charge is set at $25,000.

Why you should give a shit: You don't need an actual hitman to catch a first degree felony in Florida, just a mouth and a cellmate with a pencil, which is how a man with his release date already on the calendar allegedly talked his way back into a cell over a drone.