UMPIRE ORDERS ROOKIE TO STRAIGHTEN HIS HAT, ACCIDENTALLY UNIFIES 2 BASEBALL TEAMS

Friday at Coors Field, home plate umpire Doug Eddings stopped play in the sixth to have the catcher relay a message to Cardinals reliever Hancel Rincon: straighten the hat. Rincon, 24, was making his major league debut. He fixed it, retired Hunter Goodman, then gave up a triple, a wild pitch that scored the runner, an inside-the-park homer to Cole Carrigg and a single. Three runs, one out, welcome to the big leagues. Eddings admitted afterward there is no actual rule. He called it "a little unwritten rule," said a Rockies batter had asked whether the tilt was legal, and noted that nobody said anything until Rincon gave up runs. Goodman, the only Rockie who had faced him at that point, said Saturday he never brought it up. Cardinals manager Oli Marmol came out during the pitching change, ate a pitch clock violation mid-argument, got ejected, and was caught on video telling Eddings to "grow the f--k up." His postgame version was tidier saying it was a, power-hungry move, plus gave a list of guys who wore it way more tilted: Dontrelle Willis, CC Sabathia, Pedro Strop. So Saturday, most of the Cardinals warmed up with their hats crooked, kept them crooked in the dugout, and tilted their batting helmets after reaching base. Some Rockies did it too, including Goodman, which is how you know a man has united a clubhouse he does not belong to. Eddings apologized to Rincon on the field before the game. Rincon accepted.

Why you should give a shit: MLB has announced no discipline, so the only working accountability system for an umpire who invents rules is two rosters of grown men wearing their hats sideways at him for nine innings.