CANADIAN TARIFFS TO GO INTO EFFECT AT MIDNIGHT... BUT AT LEAST WE GOT LAKE AMERICA

Canada's counter-tariffs will go into effect at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Tuesday: about 700 American products, roughly C$27.6 billion worth, taxed at 15, 25 or 50 percent. Steel and aluminum are on the list, and so are processed cheese, motorcycles, washers, dryers, perfume and toilet paper. Finance Minister François-Philippe Champagne called it dollar for dollar, rate for rate, and said that when the US asked too much and offered too little, Canada chose Canada. Industry Minister Mélanie Joly skipped the diplomacy and said the products were picked to squeeze specific American states before the November 3 midterms. This started when Trump's 50% tariffs on about $20 billion of Canadian goods took effect after negotiations collapsed. Who killed the talks depends on who you ask. Carney says the US dropped in last-minute changes that were unfair and uneconomic. Vance and trade rep Jamieson Greer say Ottawa showed up with the 11th-hour demands. Want to know Washington's comeback so far? 50% on Canadian cars, trucks and parts starting January 1, a matching threat on steel that is already sitting at 50%, a Truth Social post announcing he does not want "Canadian anything," and an executive order renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America. In response to the last counterpunch, Carney noted the name is more than 400 years old, vastly predating both Canada and the US. There has been pushback south of the border about the name change as well, with many Americans voicing their displeasure with the name change. MapQuest, a Colorado based GPS company, saw their app shoot to #1 on the US App Store charts in the days following their announcement that they would be sticking with 'Lake Ontario' on their platform.

Why you should give a shit: Renaming the lake costs one executive order, but that 50% on cars and parts hits January 1, which is when this stops being a map fight and starts being the sticker price on your next truck.