TRUMP SAYS THE IRAN WAR IS 'EFFECTIVELY OVER,' AND MILITARY IS LOCKED AND LOADED

Trump made a surprise stop in the White House briefing room Monday after meeting Qatar's prime minister and declared the eight month war with Iran finished. Sort of. "Iran militarily is effectively over," Trump said. "We're just keeping it the status quo." He added that Iran has been "decapitated" and that there was "positive momentum," then warned that American forces are "locked and loaded," which is a strange thing to need around a war that just ended. Here is what over looks like on the ground. The US economic blockade now covers Iran's land routes on top of its maritime and air trade. American forces disabled a second blockade runner this month, firing on a tanker that left an Iranian port. Tehran says nuclear talks cannot even start until the US meets seven conditions, including sanctions relief, frozen assets and reparations, while Washington insists nuclear goes in the first round. Nobody has signed anything. Everyone else is less relaxed about it. A senior UAE official said Monday the war was unlikely to be decisively settled for a "long period." And Trump spent that same day posting that the midterms were not honest and blaming voting machines, after previously accepting the blowout defeat. Republicans lost the trifecta over this war's hit to household budgets. The war is won and the election was stolen. Pick one.

Why you should give a shit: Nothing is signed, so "effectively over" is a vibe rather than a ceasefire, and the pump price is the only scoreboard that will tell you when the vibe changes.