TACO TUESDAYYY - Lebron James
INTEL STOCK LOSES 29%, WORST SINGLE DAY SINCE 1974
Intel posted $16.5 billion in third quarter revenue and beat estimates. Then management talked about the fourth quarter. Guidance landed at $15 billion to $16 billion against the roughly $17 billion Wall Street expected, with adjusted earnings of 25 cents versus the 43 cents penciled in. The stock closed Friday down about 28.6% at $65.76, its worst single day since July 1974. The problem is PCs. Memory prices are climbing, laptops cost more, buyers are sitting it out, and Intel expects PC revenue to fall roughly 20% from Q3 to Q4 with no real recovery until memory supply and pricing calm down. Data center and AI revenue grew nearly 80% year over year and it bought the stock absolutely nothing. Part of the damage is not a spreadsheet problem. An October 14 explosion during a gas transfer at Fab 28 in Kiryat Gat, Israel killed two employees, seriously injured another, and halted production for about two weeks. CFO David Zinsner pegged the financial hit at about $300 million in Q4 revenue and two points of gross margin, roughly $600 million across two quarters. Two workers died on a shift, and the number getting the most airtime this week is the margin line. Analysts bailed fast. Bank of America cut to Neutral and dropped its target from $145 to $100, Roth went from $120 to $70, Seaport downgraded too. Intel was up about 150% on the year before Thursday.
FLORIDA MAN, 77, PISSES IN A STRANGER'S YARD WHILE STARING DOWN SECURITY CAMERA
A Bay County, Florida homeowner got the notification every camera owner dreads: motion in the backyard. She tapped it and found 77-year-old Joe Thomas Alford standing there. What follows is the part where the technology fails its one job. The homeowner reported that Alford messed with his genitals inside his pants and then urinated in her yard, and that he was staring at the camera the whole time before walking away. Most trespassers spot the little glowing eye and sprint. This guy found it, held the look, and finished his business. Deterrence requires the subject to care, and the subject did not care. The whole point of a doorbell camera is that it makes a stranger behave. You pay a couple hundred bucks plus a subscription for the privilege of being the guy with footage, and the pitch is that nobody wants to be recorded. Turns out a camera only intimidates people who are planning to be embarrassed later. He was arrested Friday and charged with indecent exposure. One upside of performing directly into a lens: the evidence portion of this case will not take long.
Would You Rather?
Two tempting perks. You only get one.
Which would you rather have?
KYIV SAYS OCTOBER WAS RUSSIA'S WORST MONTH OF THE WAR, NOBODY GETS TO CHECK THE MATH
Ukraine's General Staff says Russia took 54,400 casualties in October, killed and seriously wounded, the heaviest month since the full-scale invasion began in February 2022. That beats the old record of 48,670 from December 2024 and sits 8,170 above September's 46,230. Zelensky announced it himself and added that Ukraine retook 96.2 square kilometers, more ground than Russian forces managed to seize. Then the General Staff logged 2,500 casualties on November 1 alone, a new single-day high. Here is the part Kyiv would rather you skim past. It is grading its own homework. Russia publishes no casualty data whatsoever, which is one way to never lose an argument. The Institute for the Study of War did separately assess that Russian forces gave up more ground than they consolidated for a second straight month, so the direction holds up even if the decimal belongs to Kyiv. All of this lands days before everyone sits down in Abu Dhabi, assuming anyone can agree on when that is. Peskov said the first half of November. Poland's Tusk said November 4. Zelensky said somewhere between the 6th and the 10th. Witkoff has now settled on November 10 and 11, with Kushner joining him. Four officials, four calendars, and the last US-brokered round back in February produced nothing.
LIONS ALL-PRO LINEBACKER HOSPITALIZED
Jack Campbell gets paid to run into large men, and the play that put him in a hospital Sunday was the most ordinary thing he does. First snap of the fourth quarter, 14:48 on the clock, a wrap-up on T.J. Hockenson. He went down face down with his arms at his sides. Trainers worked on him for about ten minutes, stripped off his shoulder pads, and slid him onto a backboard while players from both teams took a knee around him. He was lifted onto the cart to a round of applause, with Detroit's entire team and most of the coaching staff surrounding it. Aidan Hutchinson was near tears. That is the part of the NFL broadcast that never makes the hype package. He was alert and breathing when he was taken to the hospital, where he stayed overnight for evaluation and monitoring of a neck injury. Monday the Lions said he continues to rest and recover, that preliminary indications are positive, and that out of respect for Jack and his family they would share nothing further. Correct call, and also the entire internet's worst nightmare. Dan Campbell went to the hospital Sunday night, saw Jack's parents, talked to his wife, and called it a small setback. Detroit won 19-15 after already losing center Cade Mays to an ankle, DJ Wonnum and Brian Branch to concussions, and running back Jacob Saylors to a neck injury. The league calls that a Sunday.
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ANDEAN TOWN DRANK ARSENIC WATER FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS
San Antonio de los Cobres sits about 3,775 meters up in the Puna de Atacama, where arsenic leaches out of volcanic bedrock and into the groundwater. Until a filtration system went in back in 2012, the local water carried roughly 200 micrograms of arsenic per liter. The World Health Organization's guideline is 10. People drank it anyway, for generations, because the other option was not drinking. Scientists clocked something strange in 1995. Women there were handling arsenic unusually well, producing less of the nastier intermediate form and more of the version the body can just pee out. So a Swedish-led team took DNA from 124 women in town and scanned millions of genetic markers. The signal landed on chromosome 10, near AS3MT, the gene behind the enzyme that processes arsenic. Those protective variants turned up far more often in San Antonio de los Cobres than in genetically similar people from Peru and Colombia. The mechanism here is bleak and simple. The people whose enzymes worked lived long enough to have kids, over and over, for a very long time. Mummies in the region from around 7,000 years ago have arsenic in their hair, so the exposure clock has been running a while. The work was published in Molecular Biology and Evolution and billed as the first known case of humans adapting to a toxic chemical, which is a hell of a trophy to win.
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