ISRAEL HELD AN ELECTION, AND NOBODY GOT TO 61

Israel voted Tuesday in its first national election since the October 7, 2023 attacks and produced a 120-seat Knesset where nobody can get to 61. The first exit polls put Benjamin Netanyahu's bloc near 50 and former army chief Gadi Eisenkot's at 52 or 53. Then the numbers moved overnight. Kan and Channel 13 updated to 51-51. Channel 12 flipped it to Netanyahu 52, opposition 49. Everybody still lost. Arab parties took 17 to 19 seats, the strongest showing they have ever posted, and both men spent the night promising not to govern with them. Netanyahu called them anti-Zionist and ruled out any deal. Eisenkot has all but ruled one out too. The kingmakers got rejected by both kings before the ballots were counted. Which channel you watched decided which country you lived in. The main networks had Likud at 24 or 25 in the first wave. Channel 14, the network that adores him, opened with a 60-seat right-wing bloc and Likud at 30. Same voters, two realities, one extremely supportive pollster. Netanyahu addressed supporters after 3 a.m. and said they must form a right-wing, national, strong government, an ambitious pitch while sitting nine or ten seats short. He stopped short of declaring outright victory. Eisenkot said the public voted for change and stopped short of it too. Official results are due by November 4.

Why you should give a shit: Deadlock keeps Netanyahu in the building as caretaker prime minister while everyone argues over who beat him, so in Israel you can lose your majority and still run the place as long as nobody else can count to 61.