SANTA CRUZ COPS HAVE CHASED TWO DIFFERENT ESCAPED EMUS IN ONE WEEK

Earlier this month, CHP Santa Cruz said dispatchers fielded multiple calls about an emu walking into traffic near Harper Street and 17th Avenue. The agency's own post admitted it was out of its depth: dogs, cats, deer and the occasional bird are routine, an emu was unexpected. The owner showed up, troopers helped corral the thing, and it went home. Then came the sequel. Days later an emu bolted from its owner and led Santa Cruz County deputies through local streets, with video showing the flightless bird darting around while deputies tried to keep it away from passing cars. The fix was snacks. When it was over, they posted a photo of the emu posing with the deputies and its owner, which is more than most arrests get. The sheriff's office said keeping the peace sometimes means keeping an emu out of traffic long enough for its owner to come get it. They also got ahead of the obvious theory. No, the department said, this was not a repeat offender from the CHP incident. Different bird, same agenda: wreak havoc. So that is two emus, two owners, two agencies, one week. Emus run about six feet tall and 120 pounds, so this is not a squirrel-sized problem for whoever meets one at 40 mph.

Why you should give a shit: Treats worked twice, but a 120-pound Australian bird standing in your lane is a totaled car waiting to happen, so somebody on Harper Street needs to buy a taller fence before the third one gets out.