ELON IS GIVING EVERY KID IN AMERICA ONE SHARE OF SPACEX, ALLEGEDLY

Elon Musk posted on X just before 4 a.m. Monday that next year he'll hand one of his SpaceX shares to "every kid in America," and that this "will be the first of many." Then he stopped typing. No age cutoff, no eligibility rules, no reply to the accounts asking whether he meant citizens or every kid currently standing on American soil. The timing is not a mystery. A day earlier, Anthropic said it was committing at least 5% of its equity to a public benefit fund. Musk replied that the shares should go directly to the public, then announced he'd be the guy doing it. Nothing moves a billionaire like a competitor being generous in the wrong format. The math: about 72 million Americans under 18, and SpaceX closed Friday at $146.03, so the pledge lands around $10.5 billion. Musk holds roughly 6.42 billion shares, so he's parting with a bit over 1% of his SpaceX position while sitting on a net worth near $908 billion. Very nice of him, and also the cheapest possible way to get 72 million households emotionally invested in his stock price. Trump took the handoff on Truth Social, thanked his "legendary friend," and declared the shares will run through Trump Accounts, the tax-advantaged under-18 accounts Treasury rolled out in July. So the branding is finished. The rules have not been started.

Why you should give a shit: One share is real money to a kid and about 1% of his pile to Musk, and so far the entire program is a 4 a.m. post with the president's name already printed on the account.