NEBRASKA IS SELLING 103-YEAR-OLD PISS TROUGHS FOR $3,000

Memorial Stadium is getting a $600 million gut job called the Big Red Rebuild, and Nebraska decided the old fixtures were too dated to keep and too sacred to toss. So the school is selling the men's room urinal troughs to fans at $3,000 a pop. Seven of the thirty available are already spoken for, which is $21,000 the athletic department made off plumbing. These are not keychains. Each trough is porcelain, roughly 300 pounds, up to eight feet long, and carrying 103 years of Saturdays. The sales site is completely unbothered about it: a pair of stadium seats says you love Nebraska football, while a trough says "you have fully committed." Suggested uses include a flower planter, a garage centerpiece, and a display stand for your other Husker memorabilia, so your signed helmet can live where thousands of men once aimed. Rare Goods, the company running the sale, notes that fans have logged serious hours at this particular fixture, especially since the stadium started selling beer last year. Everything gets cleaned before pickup, which starts November 22. If three grand is rich for you, seats begin at $25, reclaimed benches go for $400, and a stainless steel water fountain trough is $2,500. The Bills beat Nebraska to this with fixtures from old Highmark Stadium at a reported $5,000, so Lincoln is the budget option.

Why you should give a shit: Nebraska just turned demolition debris into $21,000, which tells every aging stadium in America that the most bankable thing in the building is not the scoreboard, it's the thing every fan has personally used.