GUY ARRESTED BACKSTAGE AT DISNEY

Orange County deputies say 37-year-old Michael Byrne of Lakeland spent August messaging a Snapchat user who said he was a 13-year-old boy in Orlando. That user was an undercover detective. Byrne allegedly asked whether he could send something "spicy," then sent one explicit image and three videos and asked for pictures back. Investigators got records from Snapchat and Verizon that they say tied the account to his phone number, his birthdate and his Lakeland address. Then comes the part nobody has explained. Deputies did not pick him up at home. They picked him up at 751 Backstage Lane, the restricted service area behind EPCOT where paying guests cannot go. Disney's full comment was that he is not an employee. That answers one question and completely ignores the louder one, which is how a man with no job there got through a gate that stops families who paid 190 bucks a head. He is charged with solicitation of a minor via computer, transmission of harmful material to minors, and unlawful use of a two-way communication device. Florida law does not require a real child for those counts, so the fake 13-year-old being a grown deputy does not help him. Byrne reportedly told detectives the account was his but said he had no idea he was talking to a 13-year-old, despite the age being right there in the messages.

Why you should give a shit: Florida doesn't need an actual kid for those charges to stick, and the thing that should bother every parent at EPCOT is that Disney can tell you he never worked there but not how he got in.