GIRL SCOUTS EXPAND THEIR CUSTOMER BASE

Girl Scouts of the USA announced on September 8 that the highly anticipated 2027 cookie lineup includes Patch Pals, a soft-baked blueberry muffin dog cookie developed with BARK. After more than a century of selling cookies, the organization has finally located the one customer who was never going to say no. Each treat is baked with one of four patch designs representing iconic Girl Scout experiences, which your dog will appreciate for zero seconds before inhaling it sideways. The other new cookie is the actual news. Girl Scout Sparkables, developed with Partake, is the program's first allergy-friendly cookie, a crunchy oatmeal cookie with chocolate chips and sprinkles made in a facility that avoids the nine major food allergens. Kids who have spent every cookie season holding a juice box while the rest of the class ate Thin Mints finally get a box they can open. There is a catch. Both are online exclusive, direct ship only, starting January 12, 2027. No card table outside the grocery store, no troop ambush in your office lobby. Girl Scouts tried online-only in 2023 with Raspberry Rally, watched it sell out almost immediately, watched resellers flip boxes on eBay at markups, and then retired it. That was a raspberry cookie nobody needed. This time the people refreshing the page include parents of allergy kids and every dog owner in America.

Why you should give a shit: Patch Pals are the bit and Sparkables are the point, and Girl Scouts put both behind a single online drop on January 12, so the kid with the peanut allergy is now racing eBay scalpers for a cookie.