APPLE BUILT A LAPTOP YOU CAN TOUCH, THEN CHARGED $14,549 FOR THE PRIVILEGE

Apple finally made a MacBook you can poke, and the top of the configurator reads $14,549. That gets you the 16-inch with the M5 Max, an 18-core CPU, a 40-core GPU, 128GB of memory, 16TB of storage, and the nano-texture glass. The 14-inch tops out at $14,249, for the guy who wants to go broke and save desk space. Starting prices are $2,899 for the 14-inch and $3,399 for the 16-inch. The climb to five figures is mostly storage. Going to 4TB adds $1,000, 8TB adds $3,000, and the new 16TB option adds $7,000 by itself. Jumping to 128GB of memory adds $2,000. The nano-texture glass is $150, the only line item on the menu priced like a physical object. The previous 16-inch MacBook Pro topped out at $10,149, so the new ceiling is $4,400 higher, roughly 43 percent. TechCrunch points at the ongoing memory shortage and AI eating hardware faster than anyone can make it. Apple would like you to look at the screen instead. If you don't have fourteen grand sitting around, Apple will take $1,212.41 a month for twelve months. Or you buy the non-touch M6 MacBook Pro that Apple announced the same day for $1,999 and touch that screen all you want. It just won't do anything.

Why you should give a shit: Almost nobody buys the $14,549 build, but it exists so the $4,799 one feels sensible, and that trick is now baked into every spec sheet you will ever read.