TAYLOR SWIFT'S CLEVELAND LOVE SONG IS NOW THE WORST-RATED TRACK OF HER CAREER

On September 25 Swift dropped four bonus tracks on The Life of a Showgirl: The Encore, and one of them is "Cleveland!", a love song about Travis Kelce and the Ohio suburb that raised him. A week later it sits as the lowest-rated song in her entire catalog on Album of the Year. She tried to do Cleveland a favor and accidentally made it a crime scene. The structure of the song is Swift listing every insult she has absorbed about her clothes, her dancing and her face, then announcing that her husband likes her anyway. Critics did not receive this as romance. Paste called it "a hollow, materialistic power move" and said her branding is eating her artistry. Pitchfork said her music has been "almost entirely drained of depth and meaning." Sports Illustrated published a review calling it the worst thing she has ever written, so the backlash has now leaked out of music media and into the football section. One guy's tweet calling it the worst song he had ever heard pulled nearly 10,000 likes. Kelce's counter-review, delivered on the September 30 episode of New Heights: Cleveland is rocking right now, shout out to Tay Tay. He also called it a banger. Jason Kelce said he and Kylie have had it on repeat. Variety's read is that Paul McCartney caught the same beating in the seventies for writing happy songs about being married, which is great news for Taylor and rough news for everyone currently typing.

Why you should give a shit: Her worst-reviewed song ever landed while the expanded album climbed back to No. 1 on iTunes, so a solid week of you telling everyone it sucks worked out beautifully for her and cost you a subscription.